I love my sleep. In fact, I believe that sleep is one of God's greatest gifts to His children. Sleep is the warm, tasty rest that comes over you after being awake for 16 hours or so. Sleep is God's way of letting us know that He is ultimately in charge, and that the world will NOT spin out of control if we take a few hours off. AAhhh sleep; what a wonderful gift you are.
Lately this gift of uninterrupted unconsciousness has become a lot more valuable. Kind of like TIME or anything else that we take for granted, I didn't know how priceless it was, until I lost some of it.
My sleep schedule now depends largely upon the needs and whims of a seven month old little girl who proclaims (very loudly I might add) her desire for my immediate attention regardless of my intended nightly schedule or my convenience. She knows only that she wants me and wants me NOW!
Over time I'm sure that will change. Over time and as she grows, I'm sure that I will eventually explain to her the virtue of patience and carefully explain that she doesn't need to have every impulsive desire met, the moment that she desires it.
However, right now I am amazed at my willingness to be interrupted for someone that I love! Most nights I groggily I make my way up the stairs at 2:00am to comfort her, sing her back to sleep, bring her a bottle or change a wet diaper. To some it may seem like an annoyance and sometimes it feels like it too. But afterwards, as I make my way down the stairs back to my bed, I receive the quiet satisfaction of being inconvenienced for someone I love without expecting anything in return.
The truth is that I love my daughter more than I love my sleep. Time spent with her (even at an inconvenient time) is more precious than my sleep schedule.
When it comes to my relationship with Christ however, I often am not that easy going. I have been given so many good gifts and yet the second I feel inconvenienced or interrupted, I grumble or wonder why this is my responsibility? Even though I am richly blessed, when it comes to being inconvenienced for Jesus, my tolerance for interruption is far less.
What a difference love makes.
Why is it sooo hard for me to understand that interruption is often God's way of telling me that He loves me and desires my immediate attention? Maybe if I sought His face everyday the way that I seek my daughter's, then maybe I wouldn't get so bent out of shape when He gives me the opportunity to meet Him at (what I feel )is an inconvenient moment.
When I love God more than my regularly scheduled routine, maybe I'll finally get it!
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
-Proverbs 16:9
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